wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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