Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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