if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
