Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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