i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
