we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
