Don't you send me to vm
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
