You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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