he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize