"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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