dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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