My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
