you win again, gameday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
