If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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