sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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