I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
