Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
