I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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