She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
