saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize