I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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