Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My pussy is not your playground.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
