New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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