I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
