Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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