We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
