Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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