i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize