I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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