I just saw a hot homeless man
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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