Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
