Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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