you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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