Will you blow on my dice?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
