Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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