sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
