You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
