found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
