I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
