no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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