He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
