Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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