WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
