If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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