singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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