i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
