she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
