You work out of a Hotel?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
