The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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