That's when you crack a 10am beer
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize