I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
