I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
