I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
