And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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