i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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