fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my being single is dangerous.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
