The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
