Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
