Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
