He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
