it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
