My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So vagazzling was a success
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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