dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
