Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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