it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
