So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
