just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
