dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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